Parenting after divorce can be tough but it’s necessary to work together for your children’s sense of security and well-being. Below are a few concrete ideas for working towards a reasonably harmonious and productive relationship with your child’s other parent.
Be certain your child understands that although time may not be equally shared, he’ll still have two parents.
Challenges of Co-Parenting After a Divorce
That might be challenging, particularly if you have more custodial time than the other parent. It might be even more of a challenge if you have lost custody and think you are being shut out of your child’s life. However, children need both parents, and more importantly, they must know that both of their parents love them.
Do not bad mouth your spouse in front of the kids or to the kids.
It truly is harmful to kids to hear that somebody they love and rely upon for their care is a “louse,” “loser,” or whichever colorful term is laid on the ex.
Do not think that the children are not listening as you complain about your former spouse to your best friend on the phone. If you have to vent your frustrations, and sometimes you must, do it when the kids aren’t around.
Do not ask the children to lie about or a keep secret - something which happens inside your home.
“Do not mention to your mom that we ate ice cream before supper” may seem harmless, but it may it will make the children feel stressed remembering what they can and cannot say in both households.
You may think that such things as your new boyfriend/girlfriend spending the evening at your home is only your business, are your business alone, but, while you are having custody of your children, your ex still has a right to make sure their best interest is at heart. So basically, your children are young, you’re still sharing your life with your ex. The only way to keep events in your life private from your ex is to make sure they occur when you are not with your children.
Allow your children to call their other parent, privately and at any time.
Nowadays, most children have access to a phone for making calls, emailing, and/or texting, all of which are great methods for them to be in touch with the other parent.
You can always monitor your child’s use of electronics in general. Do not interfere, however, with their reasonable, regular contact with their other parent as this lends security that while spending time with one parent the other parent is still accessible.
If your children are young and must rely on you to contact the other parent, do not be stingy. It will only backfire on you as you discover them ever more anxious to speak with your former spouse.
For more tips for co-parenting after divorce and to learn how else the Divorce Tool Box can help you, get in touch today @ www.DivorceToolBox.com!
Researching and asking for help is not a bad thing to do during this difficult time. SelfGrowth.com has great articles regarding relationships, self improvement and more that you may find helpful as well.